Beards

I love mine.

Every man should grow one in his life...even if it is only scant, splotchy, or wispy. (especially James, Dan, and Grant)

My friend Kristen was happy to finally make it's acquaintance in person this week on my short but bangarang week in Utah for my sisters wedding.

My wife is in deep like with my beard...which is sweet because, having it sans spousal blessing would prove, I believe, problematic.

I was told by a member of the stake presidency recently to shave...I said no. I said it isn't a testimony stick by which to measure my piety. Then a time later the stake president said it looked great and I shouldn't have been told that. Satisfying and factual.

Having a beard makes eating without a napkin always a mistake.

A beard gives you a jaw line when your neck area refuses to supply one on its own due to over plumping.

Keeping a neatly trimmed beard can make a beard turn boring and you will be upset for a time, because often, with the exception of jungle cats, the more untamed the better.

My beard is multicolored. Calico even. This makes for a rich sense of indecision on my face's part.

Once Joe brought up his mustache (which is one of my favorite parts of the full beard) and the distinct smell it has each time he grows it; I commented that mine smells of tire rubber. Upon rethinking, I would change that and say it is more like the old air coming from the tire when it is being released.

My first beard was for Euro Trip 2005. I made the novice beard-faced mistake of finding it itchy and therefore leaving it on the bathroom floor in Florence. Regrets. I grew a new one as soon as my job allowed.

Shaving my beard was the only prerequisite for Lindsey's hand in marriage. It was a harder decision then I will ever admit to in any manner other than indirect reference. I grew a new one as soon as my end of that contract had been upheld.

I have yet to find myself stroking my beard while lost in thought. I am, however, expecting this any day now.

A pipe is the ultimate accessory for a beard. Sadly no one has yet to see the profit in tobacco-less tobacco so it remains unpacked and unlit.

Beards without mustaches are odd...one is forced to wonder if that look was the mullet if its day: clean out front, party down the sides. If so then Brigham and the Amish just blasted into the mega-cool stratosphere.