Sagacious?

I am very cognizant of my almost preternatural inability to avoid the steady gaze of Murphy and his damnable Law. However, because of this knowledge I have developed over the years a kind of foresight, or spider sense that keeps relatively me safe. It's not strong enough to garner a call from the X-Men or anything, but it has served me well thus far.

Perhaps a example of my ability would be appropriate.

Some friends and I were caravaning to Vegas. I was following and pulled up behind him, in his rear wheel drive truck, in a right turning lane. I knew when he realized he was turning at the wrong street and would therefore need to go straight, that something bad was about to happen, and only to me. I knew it, and even said something. Everyone in the car laughed. They laughed even harder when the rock flew up from his rear wheel and put a massive crack in my windshield. I knew.

Welcome to the quagmire that I am treading, and often drowning, in.

I try and learn from these experiences and avoid situations that could easily allow the villainous gremlins, ones that I apparently fed after midnight, to do me harm. Now, having said that, I have felt for a long time that motorized recreational vehicles should be avoided at all costs. The reasons should be quite evident at this point. Those vehicles offer nothing a seething chasm of pain and decapitation, riddled with angry anti-Darrens awaiting their chance to join the fray. And it all is so very easily avoidable. Therefore, due to a strict avoidance policy, I have eluded serious bodily harm for quite some time. I have, however, had to face looking like the girliest of the brother-in-laws when I adamantly declined a quad spin around in the forest. Though the idea did sound fun, I knew I would hit some invisible log and destroy my face.

Despite all this, I have purchased myself a scooter. Huzzah.